Today I was paying more attention to the conversations I was in, keeping the rule omega in mind. It was more fun than I expected and also it was much more difficult than philosophising about it. I bumped into a few practical challenges. I will list what I encountered and share what helped me to practice the rule. I feel that there is something very powerful and useful in this principle so I am committed to see if I can integrate it in my daily life. But one thing is clear, it is not going to be easy. But we like it that way don’t we? Seen from experience, difficult things have magical effect on us. When approached in the right manner they bring the feeling of aliveness and create the sense of purpose.
The first obstacle that I felt had nothing to do with the content of the conversation but rather with my habitual response and speed of my reaction. Even though since recently, I am much more in tune with my reactivity, in the situations when I meet a point of view that differs from mine, I tend to jump into assumptions pretty quickly. Cognitive biases are fuelling my reactions, closing the possibility for new things to emerge. So today when I experiences the urge to react, I quickly got myself distracted from the conversation and started to pay attention to the sound coming from the street. This little trick won me some time to postpone the first judgement. It was like a little reboot of the preconceived thinking which opened the possibility for a new reaction to appear.
But after I drifted away from the conversation, getting lost in the environment, I had to bring my focus back and get interested in the conversation again. Makes me think about the meaning of the word interest which literally means in-between. To become interested in something is to take an active role in renewing our focus and finding the space in-between. In my case the thought what connects me to this conversation was a helpful hook to get me back. But I noticed that after withstanding the first reaction, my engagement became different. I felt that the other person noticed I was spirited away for a bit, and I could sense a bit of uncertainty in the voice and body language. To reassure that the connection isn’t broken I touched the person lightly, a strong indication that I am here with you.
When I thought I was back on track and ready to invite another perspective and get to the deeper level of truth together, my ego kicked in manifesting itself in the desire to prove my point. And even without having an argument, I felt the drive to show off with my perspective which was obviously better than the other’s. At this point this occurrence seems pretty outgrown to be honest. I notice I can quickly catch it and not allow it to develop. Bringing the attention to the conversation and be in it with the other person is much more interesting than pleasing my ego. Having fun and anticipating new insights helps to decentralise and that feels really good. Looking at disagreements as a form of agreement can also be useful and seen as a move together towards something that can contain the disagreements merging into a new form of agreement. Today I read an interview with Bernad Stiegler where he talks about transindividuation. This notion describes a process beyond the individuated and interindividuated We which is a connection that transforms each other through each other. I found this idea very appealing, as it creates a possibility to build a shared space wherein we can aim to build a circuit of transformation rather than merely exchange unique experiences.
To summarise the above, to effectively practice rule omega, the following helped me big time: postpone the reaction, renew interest, give benefit of the doubt, give in to the shared transformation and get addicted to separating signal from noise.