Super sensing.

I am a dedicated tea lover. In the morning I usually I drink green tea from wonderful Japanese farmers and in the evening I have pu-erh form China. Both varieties are very different in their flavour and effect. Greens are energising in a very different way than pu-erhs. I always find it profoundly curious to experience these subtle distinctions. Since I started to pay more attention to bodily sensations and train myself to notice them more precisely, the experience of food has changed. Not just the feeling in my stomach became an object of contemplation but also the urge and reason to eat shifted. Very clearly I feel that procrastination correlates with nibbling as well as being in an uncomfortable situation with other people where I can’t get out easily. It is interesting how the body react to discomfort, I suppose I want to make sure that we are safe and have enough to survive. I find it interesting to observe these dynamics of the body connecting to something very primal and slightly ridiculous. I even find it cute of me. This urge feels unusual, distant, while at the same time it is within me. It is unusual.


My senses are activated and I feel how certain things get to me stronger. For example, I had this peculiar experience few days ago. Last time when my teas arrived I received a tiny tea cake sample. It was lying around for a while and when I was cleaning i stumbled upon this cute ball deciding to brew it. I was about to join a meeting, prepared the tea, settled down, called in. Then I wanted to make a sip and the smell of tea entered my consciousness. Literally went strait into my brain. It was such a strong fragrance, rich, beautiful aroma. Hay, roasted rice, staples, moist air, sweat, wet leafs all of it just was here with me. It was so unexpected and profound that I couldn’t take my nose away from the cup. I kept on smelling and my focus was totally hijacked. I was captivated, hypnotised with pure magic. It got me thinking why I was so affected and certainly felt I was under a spell. Looking at the mechanics of hypnotism once again we can find some explanations there. The novelty, intensity and unexpectedness of the experience contributed to the effect. But also I think my overall sensorial apparatus is very open at the moment.

When I drink tea now even more than ever I feel in an elevated state, I can feel my heart pounding. It is interesting but also brings certain excitement to the process. Once I realised that I got a little startled. Until now I was working mostly on opening up, confronting, challenging my perception but what if I overdo it and it will start woking the opposite way. Instead of enriching I start harming myself. This quick thought went through my mind. How do I know that I am on the right path if nothing except my own intuition can guide me? In the moment I had that thought I also was scanning my body looking for sensations that would reveal how I feel. And there was no unsettlement, doubt or any other type of emotion that would make me doubt. This surprised me. There was a doubt in my thought but my body was calm. Perhaps this is how it can feel like. It is much easier to deal with thoughts - we can reason, find explanations and arrive to a conclusion. In my case reasoning with the body is rather difficult. It has a life on its own. At least that is what I always felt. But there is a shift happening there as well. My body becomes more and more important, it starts to talk to me and I start to listen. It is pretty much a beginning of our relationship but I feel we will become friends. There is no other way.


More and more I sense how missing out on a right relationship with my body, becomes an obstacle in my thinking. Unable to feel a strong connection with my physicality cuts out the possibility to fully connect with development of new ideas. It feels like the faculty is missing to do so without training this relationship with own body. New ideas require rest-taking, trust and confidence, if those are missing then there is no way I can push my thinking further. Thinking requires the same qualities - rest-taking, trust and confidence.

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